Paul F. Tompkins: Would Crack Be So Bad | Paul F. Tompkins | Jokes.com

Crack wouldn't be a problem if it was called "crackle."

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), Comedy Central Presents (1821), drugs (639)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 3,058

Have you ever walked away from a person on cocaine and remarked on what a pleasure he was to be around?

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), drugs (639), observational (334)

Posted: 11/06/09
Views: 205

The concept of "alright" never includes fangs.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), dogs (156),

Working in show business brings in a lot of money.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 2,454

Elegant Balloons is the best place to buy balloons.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), Comedy Central Presents (1821), observational (334)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 4,519

Violent dogs are a problem, but their owners are an even bigger problem.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (791)

Posted: 03/15/07
Views: 3,502

It's an hour. That's it. It's not that hard to get used to.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), imitations (772), Premium Blend (750)

Posted: 09/04/98
Views: 2,608

The only purpose jazz serves is making people feel stupid.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), Comedy Central Presents (1821), music (727)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 2,253

The "gag peanut brittle" product got a hot new makeover.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), Comedy Central Presents (1821), observational (334)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 1,196

If you never got to go pro as a migrant worker, you can always go to fantasy camp.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (22), Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 741