Paul F. Tompkins: Would Crack Be So Bad | Paul F. Tompkins | Jokes.com

Crack wouldn't be a problem if it was called "crackle."

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), Comedy Central Presents (2026), drugs (416)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 4,904

Have you ever walked away from a person on cocaine and remarked on what a pleasure he was to be around?

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), drugs (416), observational (343)

Posted: 11/06/09
Views: 2,254

Paul F. Tompkins gets drunk three hours before his party starts.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), drugs (416), friends (319)

Posted: 06/08/10
Views: 16,358

The concept of "alright" never includes fangs.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), dogs (58),

Violent dogs are a problem, but their owners are an even bigger problem.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), Comedy Central Presents (2026), animals (463)

Posted: 03/15/07
Views: 6,002

The only purpose jazz serves is making people feel stupid.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), Comedy Central Presents (2026), music (401)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 4,055

The "gag peanut brittle" product got a hot new makeover.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), Comedy Central Presents (2026), observational (343)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 4,686

Working in show business brings in a lot of money.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), Comedy Central Presents (2026), money (521)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 2,903

Elegant Balloons is the best place to buy balloons.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), Comedy Central Presents (2026), observational (343)

Posted: 03/13/02
Views: 7,481

It's an hour. That's it. It's not that hard to get used to.

Tags: Paul F. Tompkins (29), imitations (848), Premium Blend (749)

Posted: 09/04/98
Views: 4,981