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Patton Oswalt Jokes
Patton Oswalt: Suicide Pinata
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If I ever commit suicide, here's what I plan to do -- you can use this -- I'm gonna fling myself off the top of a skyscraper, but before I do, I'm gonna stuff my pockets with candy and gum. That way, when I smack into the sidewalk, I'll burst like this big, human pinata. That way, the on-lookers who walk up, they can go, 'Oh man, he really must have been depressed -- oh, Snickers! Alright!'
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See Patton Oswalt Tell It » Patton Oswalt - I Married Jesus Patton Oswalt's proposed TV show is a mix of New Testament, "Bewitched" and "Seinfeld."
Filed Under: gross-out (692),  food (447),  death (212)
Posted: 06/20/97

Patton Oswalt - Obituaries

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Patton Oswalt - Random Powers

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Patton Oswalt - The Big 9-0

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Patton Oswalt - The Apocalypse

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Patton Oswalt - VIP Afterlife

Dying in the apocalypse would be pretty awesome.

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Patton Oswalt - Facts About Midgets

If you lose a fight to a midget, you become one.

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Patton Oswalt - I Married Jesus

Patton Oswalt's proposed TV show is a mix of New Testament, "Bewitched" and "Seinfeld."

Tags: Patton Oswalt (47), TV (469), impressions (466)

Posted: 06/20/97
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Patton Oswalt - In Love

There's nothing worse than seeing a comedian in love.

Tags: Patton Oswalt (47), sex (1202), dating (786)

Posted: 12/04/04
Views: 12,729

Patton Oswalt - Reality

Reality runs out at 4:30 tomorrow afternoon.

Tags: Patton Oswalt (47), food (719), money (606)

Posted: 12/04/04
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