Parenting Jokes
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The Father Sets the Bar
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"Can I have one, Dad?"
"Can your d**k touch your a**hole?"
"No."
"Then you can't have one." The dad took out a cigarette.
"Dad, can I smoke one, too?"
"Can your d**k touch your a**hole?"
"No."
"Then you can't have one."
On the way back, the dad bought two lottery tickets, one for his son and one for him. The dad won two dollars and the son won $500. The dad was surprised and a bit jealous.
"You're going to share that with me, aren't you, son?"
"Can your d**k touch your a**hole?"
"Yes."
"Then go f**k yourself."
A.J. Jamal - Growing Up Poor
You ever have a food stamp bounce?
Tags: A.J. Jamal (46), money (865), kids (841)
Posted: 07/28/93
Views: 1,682
Lewis Dix - Parenting
Lewis bathes his baby son in the toilet.
Tags: Lewis Dix (6), money (865), kids (841)
Posted: 10/25/93
Views: 556
D.C. Curry - Papa vs. Mama
D.C. Curry was barely able to survive his childhood.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841)
Posted: 08/24/00
Views: 2,154
D.C. Curry - Mama's Backhand
The backhand of D.C.'s mama can cure diseases.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841)
Posted: 08/24/00
Views: 2,679
Carlos Oscar - What Happens in Vegas
Carlos' kids watch Scooby Doo in Spanish.
Tags: Carlos Oscar (2), kids (841), ethnic (814)
Posted: 01/19/06
Views: 636
Mark Craig Taylor - Raising a Kid
Raising a good kid should earn you a medal.
Tags: Mark Craig Taylor (3), sex (1283), kids (841)
Posted: 05/20/93
Views: 543
Chris Zito - Teenage Daughter
Chris didn't ask for his daughter to have the best rack in the 7th grade.
Tags: Chris Zito (2), sex (1283), kids (841)
Posted: 05/17/93
Views: 1,671
Bonnie McFarlane - Having Kids
Never hit a baby, even if he starts it.
Tags: Bonnie McFarlane (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 02/14/08
Views: 3,490
Sandra Bernhard - Adopted Children
Sandra introduces her adopted children.
Tags: Sandra Bernhard (36), money (865), kids (841)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,492
Daniel Tosh - Adopted Granddaughter
Knowing he'll be a bad father, Daniel decides to be a grandfather.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 6,371
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