Nick Swardson Jokes
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Nick Swardson: Down side of Magical Friends
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One of my best friend's
is a professional magician. The only downside to having a magical friend is he always invites us on double dates, and that's the worst because I'm a nice guy, but he's magic. There's no way I can compete with that. He shows up, he's so smooth. Girls love him. He's like, 'How's it going? You look so beautiful tonight. Your hair -- is that a coin? Now, it's a rose. Now, it's money.' And it's like, I show up -- what am I gonna do? I'm like, 'Hi, I brought you this rose. Now, it's broken.'
Nick Swardson - Magical Friend
Nick can't compete with his magician friend.
Tags: Nick Swardson (36), Premium Blend (749), dating (692)
Posted: 06/12/98
Views: 16,571
Nick Swardson - Bad Stories
Nick always tells "you had to be there" stories.
Tags: Nick Swardson (36), Comedy Central Presents (2026), imitations (848)
Posted: 01/07/01
Views: 13,332
Nick Swardson - Funeral
Your funeral is your last party on Earth.
Tags: Nick Swardson (36), Comedy Central Presents (2026), imitations (848)
Posted: 01/07/01
Views: 12,402
Nick Swardson - Old People
It's hard for Nick to compete with his grandma's problems.
Tags: Nick Swardson (36), Comedy Central Presents (2026), imitations (848)
Posted: 01/07/01
Views: 25,857
Patrick Borelli - When People Think You're Gay
The only way to convince people you're not gay is to shoot them with a gun.
Tags: Patrick Borelli (2), Premium Blend (749), dating (692)
Posted: 11/22/02
Views: 936
Todd Barry - Hero Stories
Todd Barry isn't one for hero stories.
Tags: Todd Barry (27), Comedy Central Presents (2026), sex (1059)
Posted: 07/23/99
Views: 4,083
Sue Murphy - Life Experience
Sue's teenage friend rocks.
Tags: Sue Murphy (17), Comedy Central Presents (2026), imitations (848)
Posted: 01/18/99
Views: 725
David Alan Grier - Falling in Love
Where are you going, honey dear?
Tags: David Alan Grier (40), sex (1059), dating (692)
Posted: 04/24/03
Views: 2,947
Lester Barrie - Singles in the Audience
Lester Barrie drops some dating knowledge.
Tags: Lester Barrie (3), men/women (1029), dating (692)
Posted: 05/12/94
Views: 788
Bret Ernst - Just Like a Guy
Cool chicks only go out in pairs because they don't like to hang out with other girls.
Tags: Bret Ernst (12), Comedy Central Presents (2026), men/women (1029)
Posted: 04/16/10
Views: 5,144
