Lewis Black Jokes
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Lewis Black: Casino Strategy
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Get another Lewis Black Joke » |
I've been spending a lot
of time in casinos because, apparently, I have a gambling problem. But I have learned something important to pass on to you about how to deal with casinos when you're there. Go get $100 in quarters when you arrive. Then, go to your room, lock the door; go to the bathroom and lock the door. Then, take the quarters and flush them one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is so often the toilet will back up and you will feel like a winner.
Lewis Black - Lewis for President
America has done fine without a leader.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 357
Lewis Black - Jerry Falwell
Jerry Falwell snapped the hardest after 9/11.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003)
Posted: 04/21/02
Views: 769
Lewis Black - Veterans Administration
The Veterans Administration doesn't have computers.
Tags: George W. Bush (2037), health (976)
Posted: 05/24/07
Views: 1,477
Lewis Black - Weathermen
We don't have seasons anymore because we lost the ozone layer.
Tags: money (865), drugs (639)
Posted: 05/19/93
Views: 3,066
Lewis Black - Hippo Eats Dwarf
These are not fun times for our country.
Tags: animals (791), media (651)
Posted: 05/24/07
Views: 1,810
Lewis Black - Candy Corn
Every Halloween, people look at candy corn as if they had never seen it before.
Tags: food (804), growing up (453)
Posted: 12/08/04
Views: 3,689
Lewis Black - The Weather
Meteorologist is just another word for liar.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), TV (543)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 1,573
Lewis Black - Sun Block
Lewis doesn't trust sun block.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 1,223
Lewis Black - Flu Shots
Nyquil is the only thing that tastes like red and green.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 3,349
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