Daniel Tosh Jokes
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Daniel Tosh: Cargo Pants Day
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I have a five-gallon jar
at my house I like to fill with change. I don't stop 'til I reach tip-top and that little bell goes off, and I know Cargo Pant Day is here at last, and I dance. And I put the cargo pants on with a belt -- extra tight because I don't want to have an embarrassing situation on such a great day -- and I fill up all the pockets with the change. Then I get a car alarm -- not a car alarm with a car, just a car alarm -- and I hold it to my chest really closely. And then I go walk around the streets of Manhattan, and I wait for the first homeless person to come up to me and say, 'Hey, you got any spare change?' Then, I set the car alarm off: 'You hit the jackpot, mofo!'
Daniel Tosh - Cargo Pant Day
You can use cargo pants to carry around all of your change.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 11,062
Daniel Tosh - Adopted Granddaughter
Knowing he'll be a bad father, Daniel decides to be a grandfather.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 6,375
Daniel Tosh - What Would Jesus Do?
Daniel feels like a better person while wearing his WWJD bracelet.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 8,916
Daniel Tosh - MTV Cribs
Daniel Tosh describes what his episode of MTV Cribs would be like.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 9,187
Daniel Tosh - Life is What You Make It
Daniel Tosh always goes to Hawaii on all of his vacations -- in his mind.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 24,934
Coming Up - Daniel Tosh
Don't call Daniel for an audition, he'll call you.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Live at Gotham (332),
Posted: 07/25/08
Views: 14,827
Career Advice - Daniel Tosh
Young comics are taking food from Daniel's possible kids!
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Advice (3)
Posted: 07/25/08
Views: 23,044
Daniel Tosh - Thanking Larry Craig
Daniel wants to thank Larry Craig.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), George W. Bush (2037), gay/homosexual (633)
Posted: 07/25/08
Views: 48,160
Daniel Tosh - Hot For Teacher
Okay, so I was home schooled. Valid point.
Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), school (258), news & politics (229)
Posted: 06/17/07
Views: 144,274
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