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Women's English
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Get another Men/Women Joke » |
"Yes" = No
"No"
= Yes"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"We need to talk" = I need to complain
"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house
"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like
"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me
"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead]
"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later
Greg Giraldo - 9/11 Bachelorettes
Greg explains how bachelorette parties prove that they'll never change the American way of life.
Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), men/women (1003), America (446)
Posted: 08/16/09
Views: 55,954
Greg Giraldo - Obama's Cigarettes
Barack Obama had to ask his wife's permission to run for president? Really?
Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), men/women (1003), Barack Obama (971)
Posted: 08/16/09
Views: 43,985
Lewis Black - Fan Mail Pt. 5
Lewis imagines eating Marie Antoinette.
Tags: Lewis Black (320), interview (2828), sex (1283)
Posted: 08/06/08
Views: 3,633
Greg Giraldo - Pride
Greg Giraldo highlights some of the positive aspects of the Puerto Rican Day parade.
Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), men/women (1003), ethnic (814)
Posted: 08/16/09
Views: 10,846
Patton Oswalt - Pioneer Births
Patton explains what pioneer women were dreaming of while giving birth in the wilderness.
Tags: Patton Oswalt (33), men/women (1003), kids (841)
Posted: 07/06/09
Views: 31,240
Hannibal Buress - Older Women
You can use a 47-year-old woman for a lot of stuff.
Tags: Hannibal Buress (2), men/women (1003), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 07/25/08
Views: 33,359
Nick DiPaolo - Marriage
Nick can't get used to his wife naming all his stuff.
Tags: Nick DiPaolo (61), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003)
Posted: 01/18/07
Views: 5,973
Peter Berman - Low Expectations
Women need to lower their expectations.
Tags: Peter Berman (7), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003)
Posted: 04/27/06
Views: 4,829
Sue Murphy - Guy Noise
Guys make strange noises when they look at beautiful women.
Tags: Sue Murphy (17), men/women (1003), The A-List (491)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 3,468
Leslie - Posse
Leslie breaks down the members of a lady posse.
Tags: Leslie (2), men/women (1003), Premium Blend (750)
Posted: 11/29/01
Views: 1,113
