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Men/Women Jokes
What Men Want
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men/women
  1. More beer. More cheese. More sex.
  2. Vitamin fortified cigars.
  3. Public beer fountains.
  4. Kitty catapults.
  5. All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.
  6. Wet T-shirt Fridays.
  7. Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.
  8. Rocket boots.
  9. Machine gun camp.
  10. NASA space shuttle races.
  11. Sledgehammer boxing.
  12. Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments.
  13. Congressional pie fights.
  14. Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.
  15. More beer. More cheese. More sex.
  16. Tomahawk missile surf boards.
  17. Hot tub jury boxes.
  18. Nacho cheese lipstick.
  19. Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.
  20. New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America's Funniest Farts.
  21. 24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.
  22. More beer. More cheese. More sex.
  23. Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when used.
  24. Inflatable sex dolls who cook.
  25. Beef jerky business cards.
  26. Combination briefcase/pizza oven.
  27. National Make-Out with Cheerleaders Day.
  28. Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses.
  29. Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer.
  30. Karaoke "ejector" stages.
  31. Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN.
  32. The Astronaut Reserves.
  33. Porno without all the "talking" filler.
  34. Head banging elevated to "fine art".
  35. All money spent on women tax deductible!
  36. Free BBQ buffet at the DMV.
  37. Passports to Margaritaville.
  38. The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot.
  39. One "Get Out of the Doghouse" card.
More Men/Women Jokes »
Filed Under: sex (2379),  men/women (1718),  sports (623)
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Posted: 10/30/08

Tony Stone - Sports and Sex

Guys only talk about sports and sex.

Tags: Tony Stone (2), sex (1283), men/women (1003)

Posted: 05/30/94
Views: 632

Lizz Winstead - Zen Buddhism

Liz dated a Zen Buddhist for a while.

Tags: Lizz Winstead (14), sex (1283), men/women (1003)

Posted: 05/30/94
Views: 559

Megan Mooney - Bad Gift

Megan's friends don't know her.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 3,260

Kevin Brennan - Female Orgasms

Kevin Brennan advises women not to waste their time faking orgasms.

Tags: Kevin Brennan (12), sex (1283), men/women (1003)

Posted: 05/30/97
Views: 890

Christian Finnegan - Dry Humping and the Olympics

Why would you make the Olympics less dangerous?

Tags: Christian Finnegan (28), sex (1283), men/women (1003)

Posted: 05/08/09
Views: 870

Tess - Tub-a-Love

Big girls have to stick together.

Tags: Tess (8), sex (1283), men/women (1003)

Posted: 10/25/01
Views: 1,226

Hugh Fink - Strikeout

Hugh Fink's date strikes out.

Tags: Hugh Fink (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 06/25/99
Views: 1,324

Marsha Warfield - Hero

Pee-Wee Herman is a better man than Magic Johnson.

Tags: Marsha Warfield (4), sex (1283), men/women (1003)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 978

Eddie Pence - Streakers

Eddie Pence knows what it would look like if he woke up in prison.

Tags: Eddie Pence (3), sex (1283), animals (791)

Posted: 07/20/06
Views: 1,687

Eddie Brill - Hockey Crowds

Being part of a hockey crowd is like preparing for an 18,000-person simultaneous orgasm.

Tags: Eddie Brill (8), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 06/12/03
Views: 362

 
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