Translating Male Responses | men/women | Jokes.com

Men/Women Jokes
Translating Male Responses
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men/women
It's a guy thing.
-- There
is no rationale or logic, and I don't feel like trying to come up with any.

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
-- I'm conditioned to agree, but it doesn't mean I'm listening.

"That's interesting, dear."
-- I acknowledge that you're STILL talking.

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
-- I forgot our anniversary again.

"You know how bad my memory is."
-- I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
-- It's a guy thing. (see above)

"What did I do this time?"
-- I hope you haven't been checking my e-mail.

"I heard you."
-- I heard words coming out of your mouth, and now you can stop talking.

"I don't need to read the instructions."
-- It's my right to do this my way and screw it up on my own.
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Posted: 12/01/08

Greg Giraldo - 9/11 Bachelorettes

Greg explains how bachelorette parties prove that they'll never change the American way of life.

Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), men/women (987), America (446)

Posted: 08/16/09
Views: 55,584

Greg Giraldo - Obama's Cigarettes

Barack Obama had to ask his wife's permission to run for president? Really?

Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), men/women (987), Barack Obama (963)

Posted: 08/16/09
Views: 43,648

Greg Giraldo - Pride

Greg Giraldo highlights some of the positive aspects of the Puerto Rican Day parade.

Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), men/women (987), ethnic (813)

Posted: 08/16/09
Views: 10,612

Patton Oswalt - Pioneer Births

Patton explains what pioneer women were dreaming of while giving birth in the wilderness.

Tags: Patton Oswalt (32), men/women (987), kids (828)

Posted: 07/06/09
Views: 30,954

Lewis Black - Fan Mail Pt. 5

Lewis imagines eating Marie Antoinette.

Tags: Lewis Black (318), interview (2793), sex (1269)

Posted: 08/06/08
Views: 3,545

Nick Griffin - Women

I'm not getting smarter about women.

Tags: Nick Griffin (4), sex (1269), men/women (987)

Posted: 03/14/08
Views: 5,100

Peter Berman - Low Expectations

Women need to lower their expectations.

Tags: Peter Berman (7), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (987)

Posted: 04/27/06
Views: 4,726

Nick DiPaolo - Marriage

Nick can't get used to his wife naming all his stuff.

Tags: Nick DiPaolo (61), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (987)

Posted: 01/18/07
Views: 5,931

Lewis Dix - Abuse

How women can be abused by a man with a Jheri curl?

Tags: Lewis Dix (6), men/women (987), violence (298)

Posted: 10/25/93
Views: 1,364

Kurt Metzger - Settling Down

It's called "settling down" for a reason.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (14), men/women (987), dating (649)

Posted: 05/17/07
Views: 8,125

 
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