Translating Male Responses | men/women | Jokes.com

Men/Women Jokes
Translating Male Responses
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men/women
It's a guy thing.
-- There
is no rationale or logic, and I don't feel like trying to come up with any.

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
-- I'm conditioned to agree, but it doesn't mean I'm listening.

"That's interesting, dear."
-- I acknowledge that you're STILL talking.

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
-- I forgot our anniversary again.

"You know how bad my memory is."
-- I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
-- It's a guy thing. (see above)

"What did I do this time?"
-- I hope you haven't been checking my e-mail.

"I heard you."
-- I heard words coming out of your mouth, and now you can stop talking.

"I don't need to read the instructions."
-- It's my right to do this my way and screw it up on my own.
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Posted: 12/01/08

TJ Miller - Onomatopoetic Women

My girlfriend has breasts like, "Meh!"

Tags: men/women (1003), Live at Gotham (332)

Posted: 07/11/08
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Greg explains how bachelorette parties prove that they'll never change the American way of life.

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Barack Obama had to ask his wife's permission to run for president? Really?

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Lewis imagines eating Marie Antoinette.

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Greg Giraldo highlights some of the positive aspects of the Puerto Rican Day parade.

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Patton explains what pioneer women were dreaming of while giving birth in the wilderness.

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Nick Griffin - Women

I'm not getting smarter about women.

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Shout Outs - Kevin Hart

Mac Dre, I don't care what they say. You ain't gay.

Tags: Kevin Hart (21), men/women (1003), growing up (453)

Posted: 06/27/08
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Hannibal Buress - Older Women

You can use a 47-year-old woman for a lot of stuff.

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Posted: 07/25/08
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Bill Burr - Staying Single

Bill has been single too long to care.

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