Things Men Don't Say | men/women | Jokes.com

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Things Men Don't Say
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-- Let's watch Lifetime.

-- Sex
is overrated.

-- I don't want to go too far on the first date.

-- Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.

-- Don't we owe your mother a visit?

-- I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.

-- Dessert goes right to my hips.

-- I hate when I miss Oprah.

-- Does this suit make me look fat?

-- I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Filed Under: sex (2376),  men/women (1714),  pop culture (770)
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Posted: 12/01/08

Vanessa Hollingshead - Lowering Expectations

Vanessa's glad if she meets a guy with ears.

Tags: Vanessa Hollingshead (9), sex (1269), men/women (987)

Posted: 09/04/98
Views: 1,666

Jimmy Aleck - It's a Guy Thing

There are things men do you'll never see women do.

Tags: Jimmy Aleck (3), sex (1269), men/women (987)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,435

David Alan Grier - People Will Always Have Sex

Even if sex means death, people will still do it.

Tags: David Alan Grier (43), sex (1269), men/women (987)

Posted: 04/24/03
Views: 27

David Alan Grier - People Will Always Have Sex

Even if sex means death, people will still do it.

Tags: David Alan Grier (43), sex (1269), men/women (987)

Posted: 04/24/03
Views: 785

Tracy Smith - Last Woman on Earth

Tracy's high heels are proof that she doesn't hate men.

Tags: Tracy Smith (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 08/21/03
Views: 1,235

Doug Benson - Movie Quotes

Doug Benson shouldn't have quoted "Babe" on a recent date.

Tags: Doug Benson (27), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 03/04/04
Views: 5,008

Richard Lewis - Someone Who Doesn't Love You

You know she doesn't want you when she wears repellent and turtleneck lingerie.

Tags: Richard Lewis (69), sex (1269), men/women (987)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 232

Vanessa Hollingshead - Curly Hair

If you want to feel better, give your miserable friends a call.

Tags: Vanessa Hollingshead (9), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 02/26/04
Views: 1,288

Jimmy Carr - Chubby Chasers

Chubby chasers rarely have to do much chasing.

Tags: Jimmy Carr (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 01/13/05
Views: 2,824

Megan Mooney - Bad Gift

Megan's friends don't know her.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 3,111

 
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