Mental Health Jokes
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Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"
Jon says, "I'd be half blind."
"That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?"
"I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.
The doctor asks Dan, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"
Dan says, "I'd be half blind."
The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears?"
"I'd be completely blind."
"Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor.
"Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes."
Drew Hastings - Erectile Dysfunction
My penis was so shiny I could do my hair in it.
Tags: Drew Hastings (8), sex (1283), mental health (221)
Posted: 01/03/03
Views: 3,790
Jim Gaffigan - Letters
E-mail has made sending letters tough.
Tags: Jim Gaffigan (34), Internet (319), mental health (221)
Posted: 04/01/08
Views: 20,630
Richard Lewis - Out of Therapy
You never lose your problems.
Tags: Richard Lewis (69), family (667), The A-List (491)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,455
Jake Johannsen - Airport Escort
Once Jake gets off the plane, he's like a puppy waiting at the animal shelter.
Tags: Jake Johannsen (38), Two Drink Minimum (293), mental health (221)
Posted: 05/20/93
Views: 1,529
Rich Vos - Anxiety and Depression
One of the side effects of anxiety medication is anxiety.
Tags: Rich Vos (21), Comedy Central Presents (1821), drugs (639)
Posted: 09/04/03
Views: 1,554
Jessica Kirson - Unsent Letters
Jessica Kirson writes a letter to an obnoxious homeless person.
Tags: Jessica Kirson (2), Premium Blend (750), family (667)
Posted: 12/20/02
Views: 764
Dov Davidoff - Crazy People in New York
Crazy people are all over the sidewalks in New York City.
Tags: Dov Davidoff (10), Premium Blend (750), New York City (602)
Posted: 11/18/04
Views: 2,840
Jay Mohr - Homeless Olympics
Jay Mohr promotes the Homeless Olympics.
Tags: Jay Mohr (21), money (865), New York City (602)
Posted: 04/27/04
Views: 1,783
Marc Maron - Talking to God
God doesn't seem to talk to people like he used to.
Tags: Marc Maron (25), religion (776), mental health (221)
Posted: 12/01/04
Views: 1,587
Richard Lewis - Important to be Loved
You shouldn't be dating anyone who's hostile towards you.
Tags: Richard Lewis (69), sex (1283), dating (656)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 932
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