Matt Bearden Jokes
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Matt Bearden: When a Supermodel Tries to Talk
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If you know me, you
know that there's nothing I love more than a supermodel when she tries to talk... [Rebecca Romijn-Stamos] is on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which is hot, right? And she's smoking a cigarette, pained look on her face, 'cause her life is hard, right? And then they ask her -- they're like, 'Rebecca, how did you feel when you found out you'd be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue?' She takes a long, pensive drag from that cigarette. 'How did I feel when I found out I'd be on the cover? I don't know. How did Louis Armstrong feel when he walked on the moon?'
Matt Bearden - Rat Problem
Matt Bearden has rats in his apartment.
Tags: Matt Bearden (1), animals (791), Premium Blend (750)
Posted: 12/02/04
Views: 268
Rich Vos - Hotels
Rich fixes the coffee pot.
Tags: Rich Vos (21), Comedy Central Presents (1821), work/office (398)
Posted: 02/14/08
Views: 1,912
Kevin Rooney - Stupid People
Not everyone has the same sense of humor.
Tags: Kevin Rooney (3), The A-List (491), work/office (398)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 487
John Mendoza - Stupid People
If you want to meet stupid people, lock your keys in your car.
Tags: John Mendoza (3), family (667), dating (656)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,075
John Fox - Southern California
Surfers have an IQ lower than bean dip.
Tags: John Fox (2), imitations (772), dating (656)
Posted: 05/23/94
Views: 330
Gerry Dee - Recess
My life was recess in 6th grade.
Tags: Gerry Dee (7), kids (841), education (245)
Posted: 06/08/08
Views: 17,906
Todd Barry - Brad Pitt Smells
Women love Brad Pitt.
Tags: Todd Barry (27), Comedy Central Presents (1821), audience interaction (303)
Posted: 07/23/99
Views: 7,236
Gerry Dee - Kindergarten
Do my 12th graders really think I don't know they're stoned?
Tags: Gerry Dee (7), drugs (639), education (245)
Posted: 06/05/08
Views: 28,345
Gerry Dee - Racism
I was a racist in first grade.
Tags: Gerry Dee (7), friends (312), education (245)
Posted: 06/05/08
Views: 8,271
Gerry Dee - Taping
What are the odds of finding a kid who'll agree to a penis taping?
Tags: Gerry Dee (7), kids (841), education (245)
Posted: 06/08/08
Views: 7,459
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