Kids Jokes
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Grocery Store Tantrums
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In the candy aisle, the little girl whines for candy. The mother says, "There, there, Missy, don't cry. Two more aisles, and we'll be checking out."
When they get to the checkout stand, the little girl howls for the gum. The mother says, reassuringly, "Missy, we'll be done in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a bottle and a nice snooze."
In the parking lot, the man stops the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Missy," he says.
The mother sighs, "Oh, no -- my little girl's name is Francine. I'm Missy."
Jack Gallagher - Shopping for Strollers
Maybe if you kick it, it folds up.
Tags: Jack Gallagher (3), kids (828), food (790)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 382
D.C. Curry - Child Pressure
You don't owe your kids a damn thing.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (828)
Posted: 08/24/00
Views: 1,825
J. Anthony Brown - Grocery Store
J. Anthony laughs when he sees people paying for the five-cent candy.
Tags: J. Anthony Brown (3), kids (828), food (790)
Posted: 10/25/93
Views: 589
Tracy Smith - No Children
Teenagers are major bummers.
Tags: Tracy Smith (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (828)
Posted: 08/21/03
Views: 2,741
David Alan Grier - Babies
It's all about the babies.
Tags: David Alan Grier (43), kids (828), Premium Blend (750)
Posted: 10/04/01
Views: 1,784
Richard Lewis - Girlfriend's Daughter
It's tough when you're not the father of your girlfriend's kid.
Tags: Richard Lewis (69), kids (828), dating (649)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,976
Brian Regan - Dora the Explorer
Brian would probably watch "Dora the Explorer" even if he didn't have kids.
Tags: Brian Regan (51), kids (828), marriage (575)
Posted: 06/10/07
Views: 261,775
Wanda Sykes - Hey Ma
It's amazing how some mothers can ignore their kids.
Tags: Wanda Sykes (43), kids (828), Premium Blend (750)
Posted: 11/15/02
Views: 1,222
Jack Coen - Spanking
Jack doesn't hit his children.
Tags: Jack Coen (16), Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (828)
Posted: 09/03/99
Views: 1,761
Jim Breuer - Children's Job
Kids are a beautiful experience. And they can die at any time.
Tags: Jim Breuer (26), kids (828), religion (770)
Posted: 07/17/09
Views: 13,571
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