Kelly MacFarland Jokes
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Kelly MacFarland: Salad Time
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I work with some women
who are really skinny -- really really skinny. They have this thing called 'salad time.' There's a leader. 'Salad time,' she'll say to the other ones, and they all get up and walk with her. They go get salads and bring them back and then discuss who's healthiest. They're like... 'Crunchy Chinese noodles -- what a fun, crunchy treat.' Screw you both. Doritos are a fun, crunchy treat.
Kelly MacFarland - Salad Time
Get your beets, it's salad time!
Tags: Kelly MacFarland (3), Premium Blend (749), health (540)
Posted: 12/15/05
Views: 1,359
Andrew Norelli - The Immune System
When you're sick, a $48 Slurpee is good for you.
Tags: Andrew Norelli (2), food (550), health (540)
Posted: 08/24/06
Views: 1,108
Jeff Caldwell - Soap
Isn't advertising soap as "anti-bacterial" a little redundant?
Tags: Jeff Caldwell (2), food (550), health (540)
Posted: 08/31/06
Views: 494
Jeff Stilson - Squirrels
Rats are just a bushy tail away from being a squirrel.
Tags: Jeff Stilson (15), food (550), health (540)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,052
Rick Corso - Diner
Regular mozzarella cheese doesn't have enough fat.
Tags: Rick Corso (4), men/women (919), food (550)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 537
Nick DiPaolo - Food Poisoning
If you want to lose weight, get food poisoning twice a year.
Tags: Nick DiPaolo (60), food (550), health (540)
Posted: 12/08/02
Views: 648
Lou DiMaggio - Birth Control
Contraceptive foam is the Cheez Whiz of birth control.
Tags: Lou DiMaggio (2), sex (983), food (550)
Posted: 05/30/94
Views: 490
Theo Von - Old Dad
I'm a product of loose skin and loose morals.
Tags: Theo Von (2), food (550), health (540)
Posted: 05/27/08
Views: 13,679
Lewis Black - Sun Block
Lewis doesn't trust sun block.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1803), food (550)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 1,740
Mitch Hedberg - Flossing
It's as hard to quit smoking as it is to start flossing.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1803), food (550)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 14,300
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