Hot Pockets are for the drunk.
This is a pain in the ass. Am I the butler?
Do you think Jesus was a good carpenter?
I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name.
Would we know what a water chestnut is if it weren't for bacon?
Bologna is not just a meat, it's an insult.
How drunk do you have to be to not remember what a waffle looks like?
Hot Pockets! Hot Pockets! Hot Pockets!
Whenever people find out you don't drink, they always ask why.
Shorties: Jim Gaffigan - Bald at the Beach