Edgar Allen Poe is alive and doing infomercials.
I'll always be thirsty.
These aren't the Medicis!
Paul Varghese's apartment has a bed and a set of drawers.
Laura Kightlinger gave money to a street person and still managed to disappoint him.
Salvation soldiers with ear-splitting cries -- we'll dress up a drunk in a Santa disguise.
The adult equivalent of dorky clothes is getting your credit card declined.
It'd be a lot easier to find your mate for life if we all had our own specific genital shapes.
Pete Lee's girlfriend is materialistic.
John studies the drag queens in his neighborhood.