Jeremy Schachter: No Furniture | Jeremy Schachter | Jokes.com

Jeremy Schachter Jokes
Jeremy Schachter: No Furniture
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It's very difficult to impress women when you have no money. When I first moved into my apartment, I had no furniture for, like, six months. So, whenever a girl would come over for the first time, I'd have to act like I just got robbed. I'd be like, 'Oh, yeah, come on in, I got lots of cool stuff here. Let me just get my keys here, one second... oh crap, I got robbed! Oh man, they took everything: my indoor pool, my piles of money. Thank God they left this air mattress.'
Filed Under: dating (476),  money (431),  housing (110)
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Posted: 05/17/07

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A couch is just another thing for mice to hide behind.

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Pete Lee's girlfriend is materialistic.

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Jim doesn't know what women like to look at.

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Karen's date backed his car up so she would be on the cashier's side at McDonald's.

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Bill has to pay a sewer bill in his new township.

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Tracy Smith - Financial Dating

Women should take more initiative with men.

Tags: Tracy Smith (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003)

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Corey is devastated by the goodbye hug.

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Dan Naturman - Nice Car

A nice car is attractive to a lot of women. With a '96 Geo, you're not getting top-quality booty.

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Posted: 04/14/05
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Sebastian Maniscalco - Sushi Dinner

Guys can't let on that the restaurant bill is a problem on a first date.

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Damon outlines women's three step plan for men.

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