Cell phones are great because they cut down on verbal communication.
In high school, Val Kappa was voted class clown.
Why would anybody write a letter to a magazine?
Gene is not letting anyone ahead of him in the grocery line.
Chris Mata sheds a tear after tripping.
Pete loves messing with people.
The Amazing Johnathan burns an audience member's $20 bill.
Most magicians won't explain their random choices.
Card tricks are The Amazing Johnathan's specialty.
Doug can't stand personalized license plates.
Q: Why didn't anybody hear Helen Keller scream?
A: She
was wearing mittens.
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You're so stupid you had to call 411 to get the number for 911.
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Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?
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You're so small you could milk a cow standing up.
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You're so small that when it rains you're the last to know!
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You are so small that when it rains, you are the last to know.
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If my dog's face looked like your face, I'd shave his ass and
make him walk backwards.
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You're as sharp as a marble.
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You are so fat, you rented a 250-foot long limo, sat in the
back and squished the poor driver.
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I haven't seen you run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.
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