Health Jokes
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The Deacon's Last Words
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The preacher notices all the medical equipment attached to the deacon. He kneels by the bed.
The deacon motions to a pad and pen on the nightstand. The preacher hands his friend the pad and pen, and the deacon begins to write. Suddenly, the deacon dies.
At his funeral, the preacher delivers the service. He says, "I was with him when he died, and as a matter of fact, I have his last thought in my coat pocket here."
The preacher pulls out the paper and reads, "Please, get up. You're kneeling on my oxygen hose."
Al Lubel - Reincarnation
Al has a response for Descartes.
Tags: Al Lubel (3), health (956), religion (770)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 180
Victoria Jackson - Nice Ukulele
You can't find talent in a guitar store.
Tags: Victoria Jackson (8), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (956)
Posted: 08/15/00
Views: 0
Anthony Clark - Heaven's Gate Suicide Cult
The Heaven's Gate suicide cult was one shoe endorsement the people at Nike never saw coming.
Tags: Anthony Clark (8), religion (770), death (315)
Posted: 05/23/97
Views: 144
Anthony Clark - Heaven's Gate Suicide Cult
The Heaven's Gate suicide cult was one shoe endorsement the people at Nike never saw coming.
Tags: Anthony Clark (8), religion (770), death (315)
Posted: 05/23/97
Views: 1,059
Peter Berman - Coma
The coma is underrated.
Tags: Peter Berman (7), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (956)
Posted: 04/27/06
Views: 2,424
Jack Coen - Surprising
Jack Coen is not surprised that people join cults.
Tags: Jack Coen (16), men/women (987), religion (770)
Posted: 08/29/97
Views: 173
Arnez J - Getting Into Heaven
Arnez J is ready to get into heaven by any means necessary.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), religion (770)
Posted: 08/28/03
Views: 3,057
Patton Oswalt - The Apocalypse
George W. Bush wants to be the last president.
Tags: Patton Oswalt (32), George W. Bush (2037), religion (770)
Posted: 12/04/04
Views: 6,142
Paul Provenza - Holy Loophole
All Jesus does is bitch, moan and whine.
Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (1269), religion (770)
Posted: 10/08/96
Views: 282
Patton Oswalt - VIP Afterlife
Dying in the apocalypse would be pretty awesome.
Tags: Patton Oswalt (32), religion (770), death (315)
Posted: 06/01/04
Views: 2,651
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