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'In my country," a German doctor said, "medicine is so advanced, we can perform heart surgery on a person on Monday, and have him back to work in 2 weeks."
"That's nothing," a Japanese doctor said. "We can perform an appendectomy on a person on Tuesday, and have him back in work by Saturday."
"That's nothing!" said an American doctor. "We can take an asshole from Arkansas, put him in the White House and half the country is out of work the next day!"
Lisa Lampanelli - Pickle Kisser
Andy Dick is a crazy bitch!
Tags: Lisa Lampanelli (36), health (976), drugs (639)
Posted: 12/03/08
Views: 72,007
Erik Griffin - Big Nose
All my friends are good looking.
Tags: Erik Griffin (5), health (976), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 06/05/08
Views: 4,506
Rocky LaPorte - Doctor
Rocky LaPorte had a tough week.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)
Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 2,333
Dan Naturman - Doctors
Doctors don't do anything except send you to other doctors and then send you bills.
Tags: Dan Naturman (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)
Posted: 04/14/05
Views: 1,730
Peter Berman - Coma
The coma is underrated.
Tags: Peter Berman (7), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)
Posted: 04/27/06
Views: 2,449
Andrew Norelli - The Immune System
When you're sick, a $48 Slurpee is good for you.
Tags: Andrew Norelli (2), health (976), food (804)
Posted: 08/24/06
Views: 938
Ryan Hamilton - Lasik Surgery
Lasik surgery can cost $295 per eye.
Tags: Ryan Hamilton (3), health (976), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 06/28/07
Views: 1,036
Rondell Sheridan - Hot Shower
Rondell Sheridan tries to avoid getting hot water on his "hooty-hoo."
Tags: Rondell Sheridan (8), health (976), imitations (772)
Posted: 07/17/02
Views: 1,022
Jay Mohr - Massages
It's hard to get relaxed during a massage.
Tags: Jay Mohr (21), sex (1283), health (976)
Posted: 11/20/03
Views: 5,067
Karen Kilgariff - Shark Cartilage
Unfortunately, shark cartilage does not turn you into a shark.
Tags: Karen Kilgariff (2), health (976), animals (791)
Posted: 12/05/97
Views: 1,726
