Health Jokes
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Accurate Temperature
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One day she tells him, "I have to take your temperature. I'm sorry, but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This starts rounds of complaining, but eventually the man rolls over and bares his rear end.
After the nurse inserts the thermometer, she announces, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back."
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walk past his door laughing. The man's doctor comes into the room, "What's going on here?"
Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor says, "Well, no, not with a carnation, anyway."
Lisa Lampanelli - Pickle Kisser
Andy Dick is a crazy bitch!
Tags: Lisa Lampanelli (36), health (976), drugs (639)
Posted: 12/03/08
Views: 71,994
Erik Griffin - Big Nose
All my friends are good looking.
Tags: Erik Griffin (5), health (976), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 06/05/08
Views: 4,504
Retha Jones - Push-Up Bra
Retha Jones gets a push-up bra.
Tags: Retha Jones (3), health (976), kids (841)
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Kelly MacFarland - Salad Time
Get your beets, it's salad time!
Tags: Kelly MacFarland (3), health (976), Premium Blend (750)
Posted: 12/15/05
Views: 1,239
Andrew Norelli - The Immune System
When you're sick, a $48 Slurpee is good for you.
Tags: Andrew Norelli (2), health (976), food (804)
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Views: 936
Margaret Smith - Neck Brace
Margaret got tired of holding her head up.
Tags: Margaret Smith (20), health (976), ethnic (814)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,182
Rocky LaPorte - Doctor
Rocky LaPorte had a tough week.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)
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Views: 2,333
Nick DiPaolo - Cell Phones
Nick wants the "Friends and Family With Matching Bone Marrow" plan.
Tags: Nick DiPaolo (61), health (976), technology (348)
Posted: 12/08/02
Views: 2,375
Geoff Bolt - Acupuncture
The ear lobe is the nerve center of the body.
Tags: Geoff Bolt (2), health (976), Two Drink Minimum (293)
Posted: 05/23/94
Views: 815
Karen Kilgariff - Shark Cartilage
Unfortunately, shark cartilage does not turn you into a shark.
Tags: Karen Kilgariff (2), health (976), animals (791)
Posted: 12/05/97
Views: 1,726
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