Greg Proops Jokes
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Greg Proops: Best-Looking Person in England
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I like to go to
England, and I'll tell you why. I like to go to a country where I am considered the best-looking person. It's as simple as that. Hollywood, kind of a crushing ego blow -- 'Hey Buddy Holly, you are so old, have you not perished in a plane crash?' But not in England, good God, not there. In England, God bless that dinky island, there it's, 'Good God, look at him. He has all his teeth and his ears are in proportion to his head.' I'm Brad bloody Pitt on that island.
Diane Nichols - Shaved Heads
Why would a pretty girl shave her head?
Tags: Diane Nichols (4), The A-List (486), TV (384)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 790
Tom Papa - The Bus
The bus is like a garbage truck of human trash.
Tags: Tom Papa (19), Comedy Central Presents (1803), lookin' good (260)
Posted: 02/15/07
Views: 3,183
Patton Oswalt - Makeover Shows
Some people are really against growing an original personality.
Tags: Patton Oswalt (33), TV (384), lookin' good (260)
Posted: 12/15/04
Views: 3,618
Mark Roberts - Being Bald
The barber always makes the same joke to bald customers.
Tags: Mark Roberts (5), family (581), health (540)
Posted: 05/25/93
Views: 875
Janeane Garofalo - Customs Card
Homeland Security's immigration card is all that stands betwixt us and utter chaos.
Tags: Janeane Garofalo (9), men/women (919), health (540)
Posted: 01/22/10
Views: 293
Jim Gaffigan - People With Glasses
The only advantage to wearing glasses is getting to do the dramatic removal.
Tags: Jim Gaffigan (34), Comedy Central Presents (1803), growing up (423)
Posted: 07/11/00
Views: 24,438
Sandra Bernhard - Breast Implants
Getting breast implants is kind of dangerous.
Tags: Sandra Bernhard (34), men/women (919), health (540)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 2,682
Scott Kennedy - Opening for Male Strippers
Sometimes when you perform in Vegas, it's not in a comedy club.
Tags: Scott Kennedy (11), Comedy Central Presents (1803), men/women (919)
Posted: 06/10/04
Views: 475
Nick Griffin - Fake Breasts
It's not the woman's responsibility to have big breasts.
Tags: Nick Griffin (3), sex (983), men/women (919)
Posted: 01/10/00
Views: 2,881
Doug Stanhope - The Ugly One
Nobody ever talks about being the ugly one in drunken hookups.
Tags: Doug Stanhope (12), sex (983), men/women (919)
Posted: 09/04/98
Views: 1,370
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