Gary Lazer Jokes
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Gary Lazer: Missing New York's Subways
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I miss New York. I
miss the subways, believe it or not. So, what I do is I have a tape recording of just the sound of the subway, and every morning, I get up, I go into my closet, I close the door, I put the tape on, and I just hang there with my clothes for a while. Then I turn to my overcoat, and I go, 'No, you shut up, pal, alright?' Then I stab myself a few times, and I feel like I'm home.
Carl Banks - Alaska Drive-By
There's no crime in the winter in Alaska.
Tags: Carl Banks (4), crime (256), travel (249)
Posted: 04/25/94
Views: 510
Jay Mohr - Fight With an Englishman
Jay got punched in the Heathrow Airport.
Tags: Jay Mohr (21), travel (249), violence (196)
Posted: 11/20/03
Views: 6,557
Mike Royce - Dangerous Cities
Wherever you go, people claim their city is more dangerous.
Tags: Mike Royce (3), New York City (303), Two Drink Minimum (291)
Posted: 05/23/93
Views: 231
Gary Lazer - Smokers and Nonsmokers
There's going to be a civil war, and you know the nonsmokers are going to win.
Tags: Gary Lazer (4), The A-List (486), observational (335)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 769
Gary Lazer - Missing New York
If you're going to live in New York, you may consider buying a guard dog or parrot.
Tags: Gary Lazer (4), The A-List (486), animals (439)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 224
Gary Lazer - Getting Sucked out of a Plane
It's scary to sit by those hatches that can pop open at any moment.
Tags: Gary Lazer (4), The A-List (486), flying (149)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 288
Gabriel Iglesias - Checking in at 1AM
After a missed flight, Gabriel Iglesias has some trouble checking into a hotel at 1am.
Tags: Gabriel Iglesias (23), travel (249), impressions (238)
Posted: 10/12/09
Views: 91,344
Gary Lazer - A Grim Future
People know they're destroying the Earth.
Tags: Gary Lazer (4), sex (983), food (550)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 146
Jim Norton - Hijacking-Free Flight
Jim is totally comfortable with a plane full of black people.
Tags: Jim Norton (12), ethnic (731), religion (341)
Posted: 05/14/09
Views: 9,507
Charlie Murphy - The 300
If you want to see Charlie Murphy bitch out, challenge him to a butt naked sword fight.
Tags: Charlie Murphy (3), men/women (919), movies (221)
Posted: 02/27/10
Views: 1,038
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