Ellen DeGeneres Jokes
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Ellen DeGeneres: In Touch With Nature
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I was in Denver, Colorado
recently, just walking around the mountains by myself. It's so beautiful to do that, just get in touch with nature and be by yourself. I'm by myself, and a little sound of rustling leaves or something -- I turn around. Ten feet from where I'm standing, there's a family of deer -- just right there. There's a mother, a father, two little baby deer. I thought, 'Oh, I wish I had a gun.'
Ellen DeGeneres - Hunting
Ellen doesn't understand hunting, unless it's something you're proud of killing -- like a hunter.
Tags: Ellen DeGeneres (3), parents (591), animals (540)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 41,543
Ellen DeGeneres - Pull Over
Men and women both try to flirt their way out of tickets.
Tags: Ellen DeGeneres (3), men/women (1155), imitations (847)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 8,637
Jon Reep - Freaks
You will do things at the fair that you would never do anywhere else. Like argue over the world's largest rat.
Tags: Jon Reep (18), food (719), animals (540)
Posted: 10/17/09
Views: 21,512
Jon Reep - Bless His Heart
Shooting fish in a barrel is not as easy as it sounds.
Tags: Jon Reep (18), Comedy Central Presents (2172), animals (540)
Posted: 03/23/06
Views: 29,352
Ron White - No Dogs
The sign at Ron's bank is wrong.
Tags: Ron White (19), marriage (547), animals (540)
Posted: 04/05/09
Views: 48,448
Jimmy Shubert - Seafood Aquarium
You never notice a crying fish.
Tags: Jimmy Shubert (7), Comedy Central Presents (2172), imitations (847)
Posted: 02/19/04
Views: 2,522
Ron White - Deer Hunting
Ron's cousin Ray thinks killing deer with a deer rifle is magic in the forest.
Tags: Ron White (19), Comedy Central Presents (2172), family (647)
Posted: 05/08/03
Views: 59,966
Ron White - Sluggo
Sluggo loves going to the vet.
Tags: Ron White (19), Comedy Central Presents (2172), sex (1202)
Posted: 05/08/03
Views: 41,397
Jimmy Shubert - Licking Frogs
"Ribbit" sounds a lot like "Lick it."
Tags: Jimmy Shubert (7), Comedy Central Presents (2172), imitations (847)
Posted: 02/19/04
Views: 2,344
Bill Engvall - Empty Nest
Once the kids leave the house, there's no one to blame anything on anymore.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), men/women (1155), kids (831)
Posted: 11/22/09
Views: 18,925
