Demetri Martin Jokes
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Demetri Martin: Christmas Wrapping
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I set a personal record
on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
Lewis Black - Long Christmas
How long does it take you Christians to shop?
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (2172), food (719)
Posted: 04/21/02
Views: 38,958
Marina Franklin - Cougar
Marina Franklin has a younger boyfriend -- she likes the little ones.
Tags: Marina Franklin (8), ethnic (870), dating (786)
Posted: 03/31/11
Views: 7,313
Demetri Martin - Harmonica
Demetri has never met a woman with a conditional identity before.
Tags: Demetri Martin (22), men/women (1155), ethnic (870)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 90,150
Rodney Carrington - Eating Out
You can make anything taste good with ketchup.
Tags: Rodney Carrington (4), shopping (200),
Posted: 04/16/07
Views: 168,732
Sue Murphy - Moving
There is nothing worse than moving.
Tags: Sue Murphy (17), Comedy Central Presents (2172), observational (364)
Posted: 01/18/99
Views: 3,252
Kyle Dunnigan - Costco
Kyle makes the craziest grocery lists for Costco.
Tags: Kyle Dunnigan (14), Comedy Central Presents (2172), shopping (200)
Posted: 03/15/07
Views: 12,428
Jeff Cesario - The Good China
As long as the plate doesn't have a hole in it, it's good china.
Tags: Jeff Cesario (11), Comedy Central Presents (2172), shopping (200)
Posted: 03/24/05
Views: 2,876
David Cross - If You Care
David Cross didn't know it was possible for an inanimate object to be Jewish.
Tags: David Cross (8), shopping (200), uncensored (156)
Posted: 03/31/10
Views: 10,929
Gary Valentine - Shopping
Apparently, you're not allowed to lie face down on those massaging chairs in the mall.
Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (2172), family (647)
Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 2,728
