Demetri Martin Jokes
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Demetri Martin: Bumper Stickers
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A lot of people don't
like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me, a bumper sticker is a short cut. It's like a little sign that says, 'Hey, let's never hang out.'
Demetri Martin - Findings
Twenty seven percent of Hummer owners are pricks.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), men/women (1003), kids (841)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 41,138
Demetri Martin - Handshake
If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), sports (631), friends (312)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 49,156
Demetri Martin - Stuttering
There's a reason there are no B batteries.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), Comedy Central Presents (1821), music (727)
Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 32,031
Vince Morris - Getting Pulled Over
Vince's friend Steve isn't even named Steve.
Tags: Vince Morris (10), friends (312), driving (296)
Posted: 12/15/04
Views: 1,924
Wayne Federman - Problems With Driving
The car pool lanes are unfair to people with no friends.
Tags: Wayne Federman (16), Comedy Central Presents (1821), observational (334)
Posted: 08/14/03
Views: 277
Bob Odenkirk - Gum Wrappers
Bob has some jokes about his friend Mort.
Tags: Bob Odenkirk (7), TV (543), The A-List (491)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 590
Demetri Martin - Stuff on Guitar
Cakes are the only food we write on.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), men/women (1003), kids (841)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 11,644
Demetri Martin - Art
You shouldn't scratch a CD or a boob.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), animals (791), religion (776)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 9,048
Richard Lewis - Stoned Friend
Richard's friend smoked a lot of grass in college.
Tags: Richard Lewis (69), drugs (639), The A-List (491)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 146
John Mendoza - Kids Suck
John hates kids.
Tags: John Mendoza (3), kids (841), New York City (602)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 826
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