Demetri Martin: Bumper Stickers | Demetri Martin | Jokes.com

Demetri Martin Jokes
Demetri Martin: Bumper Stickers
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A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me, a bumper sticker is a short cut. It's like a little sign that says, 'Hey, let's never hang out.'
Filed Under: driving (241),  friends (177),  Demetri Martin (44)
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Posted: 03/18/04

Demetri Martin - Findings

Twenty seven percent of Hummer owners are pricks.

Tags: Demetri Martin (45), men/women (1003), kids (841)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 41,138

Demetri Martin - Handshake

If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.

Tags: Demetri Martin (45), sports (631), friends (312)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 49,156

Demetri Martin - Stuttering

There's a reason there are no B batteries.

Tags: Demetri Martin (45), Comedy Central Presents (1821), music (727)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 32,031

Vince Morris - Getting Pulled Over

Vince's friend Steve isn't even named Steve.

Tags: Vince Morris (10), friends (312), driving (296)

Posted: 12/15/04
Views: 1,924

Wayne Federman - Problems With Driving

The car pool lanes are unfair to people with no friends.

Tags: Wayne Federman (16), Comedy Central Presents (1821), observational (334)

Posted: 08/14/03
Views: 277

Bob Odenkirk - Gum Wrappers

Bob has some jokes about his friend Mort.

Tags: Bob Odenkirk (7), TV (543), The A-List (491)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 590

Demetri Martin - Stuff on Guitar

Cakes are the only food we write on.

Tags: Demetri Martin (45), men/women (1003), kids (841)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 11,644

Demetri Martin - Art

You shouldn't scratch a CD or a boob.

Tags: Demetri Martin (45), animals (791), religion (776)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 9,048

Richard Lewis - Stoned Friend

Richard's friend smoked a lot of grass in college.

Tags: Richard Lewis (69), drugs (639), The A-List (491)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 146

John Mendoza - Kids Suck

John hates kids.

Tags: John Mendoza (3), kids (841), New York City (602)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 826

 
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