Demetri Martin: Rock, Paper, Scissors | Demetri Martin | Jokes.com

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Demetri Martin Jokes
Demetri Martin: Rock, Paper, Scissors
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I like rock, paper, scissors -- two-thirds. Rock breaks scissors: these scissors are bent, they're destroyed, I can't cut stuff -- I lose. Scissor cuts paper: this is strips, this is not even paper, this can take me forever to put this back together -- you got me. Paper covers rock: rock is fine, no structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point, just say the word. Paper sucks. It should be rock, dynamite with a cuttable wick, scissors.
More Demetri Martin Jokes »
See Demetri Martin Tell It » Demetri Martin - Handshake If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.
Filed Under: whatever (2377),  Demetri Martin (43)
Posted: 01/13/07

Demetri Martin - Handshake

If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), friends (319), sports (252)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 96,563

Demetri Martin - Magical Place

Take a magical journey to the shire where Demetri Martin's jokes come from.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), Comedy Central Presents (2026), music (401)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 51,352

Demetri Martin - Fifth Person

Demetri Martin writes the first book in the fifth person perspective.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), Premium Blend (749), sports (252)

Posted: 12/31/00
Views: 54,776

Demetri Martin - Porcupines

Porcupines are also skewers.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), animals (463), music (401)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 25,075

Demetri Martin - Tiny Garbage Can

If Demetri left out tiny garbage cans, he would also leave a tiny sweater.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), imitations (848), health (567)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 24,784

Demetri Martin - Doors

Every door isn't heavy.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), animals (463), work/office (390)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 62,363

Demetri Martin - Mytho-Zoology

Mytho-Zoology is a crappy band from San Diego.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), animals (463), work/office (390)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 17,077

Demetri Martin - Dude

Demetri Martin is not a smoker, but he does carry a lighter.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), Comedy Central Presents (2026), music (401)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 52,280

Demetri Martin - Drunk Backseat Driver

Don't make the same Halloween costume mistake as Demetri Martin.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), Comedy Central Presents (2026), alcohol (435)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 72,592

Demetri Martin - Brick Wall

Demetri Martin sets a more comedy club-like tone.

Tags: Demetri Martin (20), Comedy Central Presents (2026), food (584)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 48,641

 
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