Death Jokes
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What They Say at Your Funeral
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The first guy says, "I would like them to say that I was a great doctor and a loving family man."
The second guy says, "I would like them to say that I was a caring husband and a schoolteacher who made a huge difference to kids."
The last guy says, "I would like them to say -- LOOK, he's moving!"
DVD Exclusive - Patton Oswalt - Jet Blue
Jet Blue understands how horrible air travel is, so they shove distractions down your throat.
Tags: Patton Oswalt (33), death (318), storyteller (263)
Posted: 07/06/09
Views: 22,214
Tommy Johnagin - Being a Pallbearer
Being a pallbearer's supposed to be an honor, but it's actually just heavy lifting.
Tags: Tommy Johnagin (10), family (667), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 08/10/06
Views: 1,889
Roy Wood Jr. - Sucking at Relationships
Roy Wood Jr. sucks at relationships.
Tags: Premium Blend (750), dating (656)
Posted: 11/10/05
Views: 1,394
Janeane Garofalo - Hell
Hell is being sentenced to the StairMaster.
Tags: Janeane Garofalo (10), death (318), Shorties Watchin' Shorties (149)
Posted: 05/25/04
Views: 2,891
Kenny Rogerson - Back From the Dead
Those "back from the dead" stories are all the same.
Tags: Kenny Rogerson (4), The A-List (491), death (318)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 512
Bill Engvall - Fifties
The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.
Tags: Bill Engvall (11), men/women (1003), money (865)
Posted: 11/22/09
Views: 15,942
Baron Vaughn - Cell Phone
I think this is the end, lol!
Tags: Baron Vaughn (11), Live at Gotham (332), death (318)
Posted: 06/13/08
Views: 81,655
Myq Kaplan - Final Destination
We've gotta get out of here. This is gonna blow!
Tags: Myq Kaplan (2), terrorism (439), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 05/27/08
Views: 8,396
Anthony Clark - Heaven's Gate Suicide Cult
The Heaven's Gate suicide cult was one shoe endorsement the people at Nike never saw coming.
Tags: Anthony Clark (8), religion (776), death (318)
Posted: 05/23/97
Views: 144
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