Paul Provenza Jokes
|
Paul Provenza: Look at the Glass Realistically
|
Get another Paul Provenza Joke » |
I look at the world
in a realistic way. Some people say the glass is half full; other people say the glass is half empty. I look at the glass and say, 'You know, if you fell on that it would shatter, and a shard of glass would cut your jugular, and you'd drown to death in a pool of your own gurgling blood.'
Paul Provenza - Psychokinetic Powers
Stopping a clock isn't the same as stopping a train.
Tags: Paul Provenza (15), death (318), physical humor (203)
Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 258
Paul Provenza - Funny Ways to Die
People shouldn't get so offended at jokes about death.
Tags: Paul Provenza (15), TV (543), death (318)
Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 699
Paul Provenza - Modern Love Making
These days, you have no idea who has what disease.
Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (1283), health (976)
Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 484
Paul Provenza - Holy Loophole
All Jesus does is bitch, moan and whine.
Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (1283), religion (776)
Posted: 10/08/96
Views: 293
Paul Provenza - Pet Cat
If only humans could be as honest and expressive as cats.
Tags: Paul Provenza (15), health (976), animals (791)
Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 207
Paul Provenza - Safe Sex
They should give condoms away in cereal boxes.
Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (1283), health (976)
Posted: 10/08/96
Views: 254
Tommy Johnagin - Being a Pallbearer
Being a pallbearer's supposed to be an honor, but it's actually just heavy lifting.
Tags: Tommy Johnagin (10), family (667), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 08/10/06
Views: 1,889
Roy Wood Jr. - Sucking at Relationships
Roy Wood Jr. sucks at relationships.
Tags: Premium Blend (750), dating (656)
Posted: 11/10/05
Views: 1,396
Janeane Garofalo - Hell
Hell is being sentenced to the StairMaster.
Tags: Janeane Garofalo (10), death (318), Shorties Watchin' Shorties (149)
Posted: 05/25/04
Views: 2,892
Looking for something else?
