Daniel Tosh: Dad's Breakfast Talk | Daniel Tosh | Jokes.com

Daniel Tosh Jokes
Daniel Tosh: Dad's Breakfast Talk
Get another Daniel Tosh Joke »
I never got a birds and the bees speech as a child. The closest thing I ever got -- one time, my dad was cooking breakfast; he's like, 'Sex is a lot like this egg. First thing you gotta do is heat up the bed real nice, get it nice and warm, get it ready for her. Then, you gotta take her, crack her over the head and lay her out flat, alright? Come on now -- wait 'til she starts sizzlin' really good, then you can flip her on over -- there ya go. Don't get too excited or you get yellow stuff all over the bacon.'
Filed Under: sex (2379),  gross-out (686),  food (379)
Share This Joke: 
Add To: 
Posted: 07/24/03

Daniel Tosh - Breakfast Sex Talk

Sex is a lot like an egg.

Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 28,830

Daniel Tosh - Cannibalism

Can cannibals taste ethnicity?

Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814)

Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 6,145

Daniel Tosh - Greatest Hollywood Couple

Let's create the greatest Hollywood couple -- ever.

Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), sex (1283), kids (841)

Posted: 07/25/08
Views: 16,539

Daniel Tosh - Unhooking Bras

What the heck is going on in there?

Tags: Daniel Tosh (53), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 07/24/03
Views: 24,163

Sandra Bernhard - Edible Panties

There's nothing better than an edible panty.

Tags: Sandra Bernhard (36), sex (1283), food (804)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 2,764

Lou DiMaggio - Birth Control

Contraceptive foam is the Cheez Whiz of birth control.

Tags: Lou DiMaggio (2), sex (1283), health (976)

Posted: 05/30/94
Views: 456

Larry the Cable Guy - Class Reunion

Larry's brand new CD 'Tailgate Party,' filmed live in front of 53,000 people, is in stores now.

Tags: Larry the Cable Guy (35), sex (1283), family (667)

Posted: 09/21/06
Views: 14,050

Doug Benson - Delightful Surprise

Doug Benson makes an attempt at more relatable comedy.

Tags: Doug Benson (29), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 03/04/04
Views: 1,172

Jay Mohr - Talking About Masturbation

Men talk about masturbation like it's nothing.

Tags: Jay Mohr (21), sex (1283), men/women (1003)

Posted: 11/20/03
Views: 6,310

Jimmy Aleck - It's a Guy Thing

There are things men do you'll never see women do.

Tags: Jimmy Aleck (3), sex (1283), men/women (1003)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,456

 
Stand-up comedian Dane Cook on Comedy Centrals Jokes.com
Looking for something else?