Bill Engvall Jokes
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Bill Engvall: Being Tactless At Eighty
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I'm in my fifties now,
which is a cool age. I love being in my fifties because people gotta listen to you now; you've been around for awhile. Now, the other side of that coin is that -- cause you're in your fifties -- you still care what people think about you. So you kind of filter what you say. Now if that's the case, I can't wait until I'm eighty. Because eighty-year-old people don't give a damn what you think. Think about it: how many eighty-year-old people with any tact at all do you know? None! 'Cause they don't have to! They're eighty! Does Grandma hold her farts in at the dinner table? No! She doesn't have to. She's earned the right to fart at your dinner table. She'll fart at the pearly gates on her way to meet sweet Jesus.
Bill Engvall - Fifties
The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), men/women (1155), money (606)
Posted: 11/22/09
Views: 39,457
Bill Engvall - Women
Why can't men have a Bad Weiner Day?
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), men/women (1155), blue collar (110)
Posted: 03/16/07
Views: 86,556
Bill Engvall - Getting Old
I think I'm suffering from Road Rage Finger.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), technology (229), blue collar (110)
Posted: 03/26/07
Views: 65,376
Bill Engvall - Boobs
Boobs are the center of all power.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), men/women (1155), marriage (547)
Posted: 03/26/07
Views: 94,572
Bill Engvall - Healthy Living
Send Bill to Heaven with a Slim Jim.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), health (657), death (314)
Posted: 03/26/07
Views: 58,670
Bill Engvall - NASCAR
Drivers should be forced to race with their wives.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), marriage (547), blue collar (110)
Posted: 03/16/07
Views: 101,794
Bill Engvall - The Club
Going to a club is no fun when you're 50, out of touch and completely out of your element.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), men/women (1155), alcohol (516)
Posted: 11/22/09
Views: 33,303
Bill Engvall - Get Off My Yard
Nobody wants to be the grouchy old man on the corner, but we all turn into him eventually.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), kids (831), aging (330)
Posted: 11/22/09
Views: 51,891
Patton Oswalt - Social Contract, A**holes
Patton Oswalt knows why all his friends want him to move to New York City.
Tags: Patton Oswalt (47), drugs (503), impressions (466)
Posted: 04/21/12
Views: 1,207
Bill Engvall - Marriage
If guys were a sports team, they'd be 0-fer.
Tags: Bill Engvall (12), sex (1202), marriage (547)
Posted: 03/26/07
Views: 55,240
