Cristela Alonzo: Wine in Church | Cristela Alonzo | Jokes.com

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Cristela Alonzo Jokes
Cristela Alonzo: Wine in Church
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I used to hate when I was little and have to go to church. I hated church until the day I discovered wine -- or what we Catholics call 'the blood of Christ.' I was like, 'You give wine to little kids? Heck, yes, I'll love me some Jesus. Bring it on! What would Jesus do? Get me hammered!' I was up to two bottles of Christ a day.
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See Cristela Alonzo Tell It » Cristela Alonzo - What Would Jesus Do? God doesn't check IDs.
Filed Under: religion (552),  alcohol (479),  growing up (287)
Posted: 07/05/07

Cristela Alonzo - What Would Jesus Do?

God doesn't check IDs.

Tags: Cristela Alonzo (5), men/women (1155), kids (831)

Posted: 07/05/07
Views: 8,788

Rodney Johnson - Preacher Dad

Rodney couldn't get in trouble like the other kids.

Tags: Rodney Johnson (3), ethnic (870), parents (591)

Posted: 10/25/93
Views: 1,051

A.J. Jamal - Religious Parents

A.J. Jamal's mom used to make up her own scripture.

Tags: imitations (847), health (657)

Posted: 09/17/93
Views: 4,012

Anthony Griffith - Baptist

Anthony Griffith was jealous of Catholics growing up.

Tags: Anthony Griffith (5), Premium Blend (748), growing up (512)

Posted: 12/04/03
Views: 4,050

Bill Burr - Going to Church

Jesus' race is about the dumbest thing anybody could argue about.

Tags: Bill Burr (26), ethnic (870), growing up (512)

Posted: 08/10/06
Views: 23,635

Julia Sweeney - God

Julia plans on asking God some atypical questions.

Tags: Julia Sweeney (5), growing up (512), religion (404)

Posted: 08/03/98
Views: 1,138

Wanda Sykes - Memories

Wanda Sykes' family won't let her forget anything.

Tags: Wanda Sykes (38), Premium Blend (748), family (647)

Posted: 12/20/02
Views: 3,295

Greg Fitzsimmons - Acting Out

When you're underage, drinking is fun.

Tags: Greg Fitzsimmons (29), Comedy Central Presents (2172), kids (831)

Posted: 12/28/98
Views: 3,173

Kevin Brennan - Drunk Driving

Being the designated driver is dangerous.

Tags: Kevin Brennan (12), Comedy Central Presents (2172), alcohol (516)

Posted: 01/25/99
Views: 2,721

Andi Smith - Camping

Andi tried to fit in with the other campers on her family vacations.

Tags: Andi Smith (2), men/women (1155), parents (591)

Posted: 05/24/07
Views: 9,924