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Carrie Snow: Third Child
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Get another Carrie Snow Joke » |
White people have the luxury of being their children's parents and friends.
Patton details two annoying types of people.
These days, the media always tries to tell you how to raise your kids.
Bob's friends don't get the whole baby thing.
Teenagers are major bummers.
It's tough when you're not the father of your girlfriend's kid.
It's all about the babies.
Never hit a baby, even if he starts it.
Raising a good kid should earn you a medal.
Cory's daughter got in trouble for saying, "F."
My favorite part about our four-year-old son is when he wakes
up in the morning, he comes to the side of our bed, he looks me right in the eye and...
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People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go,
'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know,...
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I only have, like, three really good friends, and they get
worse every year. And it's gotten to the point where I think they'd rather hang out with...
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They never want to hang out with us. You're like, 'Come on
y'all, let's go hang out.' They're like, 'No, you know, we can't hang out. You know,...
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A father sends his kid to bed. Five minutes later, the boy
screams, "Dad! Can you get me a glass of water?"
The dad says, "No. You had your...
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A seven-year-old tells his four-year-old brother that they
should start swearing. "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll say 'hell' and you say...
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A simple tests to determine your preparedness for
children:
MESS TEST:
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands...
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I became a mom myself for the first time. I actually adopted a
baby. I wanted a highway, but it was a lot of red tape.
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I like discussing controversial issues with my father, like the
Kevorkian trial. I said, 'Dad, do you think a family should have the right to...
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If the truth be known, I don't hit my children because I really
don't think I could hit them a little.
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