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Bruce Baum: Jeffrey Dahmer
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If animals grow depending on the size of their enclosure, large underwear may be helpful, too.
Can cannibals taste ethnicity?
Dogs are too picky about where they poop.
Beware the chef getting a bikini wax.
Paul loves thinking about Jeffrey Dahmer eating black people.
Hot dog street vendors do not use fresh rain water.
Microwave cheeseburgers have just enough meat to qualify.
The only reason Bosnia didn't bomb us was because they were hungry.
Wrinkle cream doesn't work.
No one ever messes with the grocery spacer.
