Full of Wool | animals | Jokes.com

Animals Jokes
animals
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will lie down and wallow in the grass.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed.

The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."

Filed Under: sex (2376),  animals (947),  blue collar (282)
Share This Joke: 
Add To: 
Posted: 10/30/08

Bob Saget - A Goat

Some advice for not getting your junk chewed off by a goat.

Tags: Bob Saget (8), sex (1269), animals (783)

Posted: 07/22/09
Views: 1,427

Ron White - Sluggo

Sluggo loves going to the vet.

Tags: Ron White (24), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 05/08/03
Views: 11,845

Bill Maher - Immigrants and Bestiality

Brown is the new pink in 2008.

Tags: Bill Maher (10), sex (1269), money (852)

Posted: 07/06/09
Views: 2,277

Bill Burr - Animal Population

Deer didn't put a hole in the ozone layer.

Tags: Bill Burr (27), sex (1269), animals (783)

Posted: 08/27/08
Views: 42,864

Greg Giraldo - DVD Exclusive - Marsupial Sex

Given the choice of kangaroo sex and koala sex, you'd probably be wise to go with the koala sex.

Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), sex (1269), animals (783)

Posted: 10/14/09
Views: 709

Larry the Cable Guy - Class Reunion

Larry's brand new CD 'Tailgate Party,' filmed live in front of 53,000 people, is in stores now.

Tags: Larry the Cable Guy (35), sex (1269), family (664)

Posted: 09/21/06
Views: 13,412

Shaun Majumder - Concave

You can still be a woman with small boobies.

Tags: Shaun Majumder (1), sex (1269), Premium Blend (750)

Posted: 12/20/02
Views: 836

Hugh Fink - Long Story Short

Sometimes people make long stories too short.

Tags: Hugh Fink (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 06/25/99
Views: 874

Eddie Pence - Streakers

Eddie Pence knows what it would look like if he woke up in prison.

Tags: Eddie Pence (3), sex (1269), animals (783)

Posted: 07/20/06
Views: 1,550

Retta - Lions in Heat

Lionesses aren't satisfied by a lion who can only do it 215 times in three days.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,721

 
Stand-up comedian Dane Cook on Comedy Centrals Jokes.com
Looking for something else?