America Jokes
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Signs You're in America
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-- there are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
-- Sick people must walk to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front.
-- Banks leave both vault doors open, but pens are chained to the counters.
-- Expensive cars sit in the driveways and useless junk fills garages.
-- people use voice mail to screen calls and call waiting to catch every call they might miss.
-- Drive-Up ATM machines feature Braille lettering.
Greg Giraldo - 9/11 Bachelorettes
Greg explains how bachelorette parties prove that they'll never change the American way of life.
Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), men/women (1003), America (446)
Posted: 08/16/09
Views: 55,954
Johnny Sanchez - All-American
Johnny Sanchez feels more all-American than he looks.
Tags: Johnny Sanchez (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814)
Posted: 08/31/00
Views: 1,834
Paul Provenza - Stupid People
Everything in our society goes to the lowest common denominator.
Tags: Paul Provenza (15), books (748), The A-List (491)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 394
Kyle Grooms - Immigrants
Kyle Grooms loves immigrants.
Tags: Kyle Grooms (9), Comedy Central Presents (1821), America (446)
Posted: 01/25/07
Views: 1,050
Greg Giraldo - Dumb Country
America is getting dumber all the time, especially compared to Europe.
Tags: Greg Giraldo (41), Comedy Central Presents (1821), America (446)
Posted: 08/08/00
Views: 2,951
Scott Thompson - Passing
Canadians pass until they have to use "out," "about" or "sorry," then the jig is up.
Tags: Scott Thompson (10), ethnic (814), America (446)
Posted: 05/22/99
Views: 369
Patton Oswalt - God Bless America
War reporters hate mayonnaise on their sandwiches.
Tags: Patton Oswalt (33), Iraq (1073), media (651)
Posted: 11/03/04
Views: 3,270
Harland Williams - Finding Germany on a Map
It shouldn't be a problem that most Americans can't find Germany on the map.
Tags: Harland Williams (35), America (446), history (293)
Posted: 02/21/00
Views: 1,234
John Oliver - No Credit
Kenya has three apples. America wants them.
Tags: John Oliver (260), economy (499), America (446)
Posted: 04/20/08
Views: 2,248
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