Alcohol Jokes
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Drunk at the Door
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When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi ya," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"
"Get lost," says the man. "It's half-past three."
He slams the door and goes back up to bed. He tells his wife about the drunk. She says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain and you had to knock on that man's door? What would've happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
So, the husband gets back out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and calls out, "Hey, do you still want a push?" A voice answers, "Yes, please."
"Where are you?" calls the man.
The stranger replies, "I'm over here -- on your swing set."
Todd Glass - Bouncing College Kids
Todd demonstrates how bar bouncers could handle college kids better.
Tags: alcohol (496), college (164)
Bill Engvall - The Club
Going to a club is no fun when you're 50, out of touch and completely out of your element.
Tags: Bill Engvall (11), men/women (1003), music (727)
Posted: 11/22/09
Views: 9,155
Ron White - Scotchguard
Ron White appreciates the well-named product that protects his couch.
Tags: Ron White (24), alcohol (496), blue collar (79)
Posted: 04/05/09
Views: 121,616
Erik Griffin - Drunk People
We went to the DMV! Oh my God!
Tags: Erik Griffin (5), alcohol (496), Live at Gotham (332)
Posted: 04/21/08
Views: 16,074
Shane Mauss - Drunk or Wasted
Shane is from Wisconsin, so he drinks a lot.
Tags: Shane Mauss (11), alcohol (496), South Beach Comedy Festival (29)
Posted: 02/11/09
Views: 1,005
Brian Scolaro - Weight
Brian is not "hospital fat."
Tags: Brian Scolaro (8), Comedy Central Presents (1821), alcohol (496)
Posted: 01/16/09
Views: 10,472
Kristian Vallee - House Music
House music sucks when you're drunk.
Tags: Kristian Vallee (3), Premium Blend (750), music (727)
Posted: 11/18/04
Views: 1,208
Leo Allen - Confident Drunk
Drinking makes you think you're good at dangerous stuff.
Tags: Leo Allen (18), Comedy Central Presents (1821), alcohol (496)
Posted: 01/24/08
Views: 6,342
Mitch Fatel - Anal Sex
You don't just do the anal sex. You need supplies, like gels and road flares.
Tags: Mitch Fatel (13), sex (1283), alcohol (496)
Posted: 09/08/09
Views: 5,374
Steve Trilling - Serious Driving Accident
Steve was in a big collision with a drunk guy.
Tags: Steve Trilling (4), alcohol (496), The A-List (491)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,536
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