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Patton Oswalt: New York vs. Amsterdam
It's really great to be
in New York right now. This is a terrific city. But it does not hold a candle to Amsterdam. I went to Amsterdam last year... I was like Templeton the Rat in 'Charlotte's Web,' just running around, 'Oh, hookers and pot!'
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posted 09/03/99
by Patton Oswalt
Jokes Tagged:
international affairs (349), travel (277), city (225), laws (214), drugs (179), Patton Oswalt (27)
We got more jokes about "drugs"
As pothead walks down the
road, a genie appears in front of him. "I'll grant you two wishes," says the genie.
The pothead replies, "I want a never ending joint."
The genie says, "As you wish," and gives him the joint.
The...
The pothead replies, "I want a never ending joint."
The genie says, "As you wish," and gives him the joint.
The...
posted December 1, 2008
Jokes Tagged:
drugs (179)
The whole first week, I
thought I was psychic. I thought I had new powers all of a sudden, you know. I'd be like, 'Where are my keys? Oh, they're in my pocket.' How did I know that? Oh my gosh!
posted January 7, 2001
Jokes Tagged:
drugs (179), Nick Swardson (20)
Q: What do you call
the new mint-flavored birth control pills women can take before sex?
A: Pre-d**k-a-mints.
A: Pre-d**k-a-mints.
posted December 1, 2008
Jokes Tagged:
sex (2381), drugs (179)
Let me ask you this
rhetorically -- which means don't answer me when I ask it: would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?
posted March 13, 2002
Jokes Tagged:
drugs (179), Paul F. Tompkins (19)
For people that don't smoke
pot, there's very little difference in behavior between when you're stoned and when you're not. Really there's only one difference: when you're stoned, you forget to say, 'Excuse me, I'm about to change the subject.'
posted February 24, 1992
Jokes Tagged:
drugs (179), Jonathan Solomon (6)
You know what gives me
a rush? Methamphetamines.
posted December 13, 2002
Jokes Tagged:
drugs (179), Retta (12)
Everybody loves pot brownies. But
I bring crystal meth cupcakes to a party, suddenly I'm the weirdo.
posted October 11, 2009
Jokes Tagged:
drugs (179), Nick Swardson (20)
Q: Why do the Dallas
Cowboys now play on dirt?
A: Because Leon Lett smoked all the grass and sniffed all the lines.
A: Because Leon Lett smoked all the grass and sniffed all the lines.
posted December 1, 2008
Jokes Tagged:
sports (623), drugs (179)
Q: What do Disney World
& Viagra have in common?
A: They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride.
A: They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride.
posted December 1, 2008
Jokes Tagged:
sex (2381), drugs (179)
