- Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
- "Sorry I'm late, but I'm still drunk from last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
- At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow, and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus, right into your car.
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.