John goes on vacation to Helopisa. Immediately, a foo bird sh*ts on him. He asks the first person he sees where he can wash it off.
"No! No!" the person says. "You cannot wash it off! That is good luck. The ancient foo bird has chosen you. You must never wash it off."
"Hey, I can live with good luck," he thinks.
But, after a while, it starts to stink. Every time he is about to wash it off, someone appears and says, "No! You cannot wash off the foo bird sh*t." So he leaves it on.
After a week, people on the street start avoiding him. Finally, he washes it off. At dinner time, he gets dressed and leaves the hotel. At the first intersection he comes to, he is hit and killed by a truck.
The moral of the story: "If the foo sh*ts, wear it."
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.