I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron."
That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one.
Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas."
We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette."
We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me."
I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly.
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.