A typical macho man married typical good-looking woman and, after the wedding, laid down the following rules: ''I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?''
His new bride said, ''No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at 7 o'clock every night -- whether you're here or not.''
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.