Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. After a tour of the reservation, she asked why there was a difference in the number of feathers in headdresses. She asked a brave who had only one feather in his headress.
"Me have only one squaw, so me only have one feather." She asked another brave, feeling the first fellow was putting her on.
"Me have four feathers, because me sleep with four squaws." Still not convinced the number of feathers indicated the number of of mates involved, she decided to interview the chief, who had a headdress full of feathers.
"Me chief, me fuck-em all."
"You ought to be hung!" a horrified Barbara Walters said.
"Damn right, me hung like buffalo."
"You don't have to be so damn hostile!" cried Barbara Walters.
"Hoss-style, dog-style, hog-style, wolf-style, any-style. Me fuck-em all!"
"No deer. Assholes too high and run too fast. No fuck-em deer."
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.