A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars."
The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there."
The bartender says, "Go ahead."
So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs."
"What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on drugs."
"Yes, you are, that was the bar bitch you ate."
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.