An alien walked into a bar and sat down next to a burly-looking construction worker. He ordered a tequila, then turned to the construction worker, poked him in the arm and said, ''Mommy!''
The man shudered and said, ''Man, get off me!'' But the alien just looked at him, poked him again, and said, ''Mommy!''
The man got up and left the bar, muttering about the damn alien imports. The alien sighed, turned to the bartender and asked for a copy of the Chicago Times. The bartender gave it to him, and to his suprise, the alien started reading it with his dick!
''Man!'' said the bartender, ''If you read with your dick, then how in the hell do you have sex?'' The alien smiled, poked him in the arm and said ''Mommy!''