A guy and a dog walk into a bar. The guy is bragging to everyone that his dog can talk . The bartender calls him over and says, "So your dog can talk, huh?"
The guy says yes. Then the bartendersays, "So, if I gave your dog a dollar he would go out and buy me a newspaper?" The guy says yes, gives the dog a dollar and sends him out.
Three hours later the dog hasn't come back yet, so the owner and the bartender go looking for him. A block from ther bar, they look down an alley and see the dog humping a female dog. The guy yells, "Wow, I've never seen you do that before!"
The dog says, "Well I've never had money before."
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.