A man from another country came to the U.S. and learned three phrases.
1.Only fifty cents
2. Very, very fresh
3. Not today, maybe tomorrow.
A lady came to his tomato stand and said ''how much are these tomatos?'' The man said ''Only fifty cents''. Than she asked ''are they fresh?'' The man said ''Very, very fresh''. She then asked, ''Can I buy one?'' The man said, ''Not today maybe tomorrow.''
A thief comes and said ''I'm a thief how much money do you have?'' The Tomato Seller said, ''Only fifty cents''. The thief said, ''Are you being fresh with me?'' The Tomato seller said ''Very, very fresh''. The thief said ''Alright, that's it. I'm going to shoot you.'' The Tomato Seller said ''Not today maybe tomorrow!"
The moral to this story is: If you go to a foreign country, learn as much of the language as possible!'
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.