1. Always looks like he's pledging allegiance.
2. His cholesterol level is directly proportional to the National Debt.
3. He owns a signed copy of Ted Kennedy's "Joy of Grease."
4. He can only donate blood to people with Type Nacho Cheese.
5. After years of eating intravenously, he can make his arm burp.
6. According to his EKG, his heartbeat has the same rate as a strobe light.
7. Number one supporter is the Grim Reaper.
8. During the Persian Gulf War he arrived in Kuwait with a spoon and bib, eagerly awaiting "Operation Dessert Storm."
9. After every press conference there's a man standing over his body saying, "Clear!"
10. Let's face it: He's a politician.
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.