One day a man was pissing in a public bathroom and a midget walked in and set up a step-ladder. When the man looked down, he noticed the midget staring at his balls.
"Excuse me, sir," said the midget. "I was just really admiring your balls. Mind if I hold them?"
"Why not?" said the man.
So the midget grabs onto one of his balls and says, "Now give me your wallet or I'll jump!"
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.